Things Forgotten
by Pretty P
Summary: Sometimes, she thought she might hate him. Nar/Kag. Dark one-shot. Revised Jan 27, '08.


Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters.

AN/ Naraku, one of my most favorite fictional characters.

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**Things Forgotten**

**-**

_He lies._

"Sometimes I feel like…" Her dark head lowered and her cheeks burned with shame as rough hands, terrible hands that had done terrible things, gripped her just a bit tighter, pulling her small frame against his broad one just a bit closer.

Two lone silhouettes twirled around the courtyard, their only witness the full moon shining like a celestial mother in the black sky. The soft melody of a waltz drifted from behind a screen somewhere close and over the well-manicured grass beneath their feet, wrapping around her like a familiar embrace, comforting her.

He always provided her with music. She loved music. It reassured her when she was lonely.

But she was never alone in this place. Not really. Not with those eyes watching her all the time. Just watching.

"You feel like what, my angel?" The dulcet tones of his silky voice chased a shiver down her spine, and a purple fog flashed across her mind's eye. She loved his voice, _she did_. It was deep and soothing, like warm ocean water.

What reason did she have to hate his voice?

_Remember._

She hesitated. The guilt was horrible sometimes. Sometimes she could almost… She could almost what? She wasn't sure what it was she was so close to doing, but she knew it was important somehow.

Her voice was timid, as it always was when speaking to him. Though it was not as if he had ever given her any reason to feel so docile and almost fearful around him. He had always been so kind to her. For as long as she could remember… "I almost feel like I should…" She couldn't finish it. It was so vile.

Why did she feel this way? She was a horrible person.

Those terrible hands she almost hated pushed insistently on the small of her back until she was flush against his chest, her dark head resting under his broad chin. He trailed his fingers in soothing circles over the smooth skin of her back, exposed from the low cut of the form-fitting indigo gown she wore. If he moved his hand a bit higher, he could trace the spider-shaped scar between her shoulder blades. He had the same one.

_It isn't real._

The young woman took a shuttering breath and looked up to the glowing silver form of the moon. She didn't like full moons. They always brought her a sense of dread, like something bad was just around the corner. Something was ready to pounce on her.

But nothing would ever harm her. He'd never let anything happen to her.

He was watching her again with those claret eyes. Sometimes, they looked so kind. And sometimes they didn't.

Sometimes she wished they were gold. She liked gold. It was her favorite color.

"It doesn't matter, love." He said that often. Nothing ever mattered. Not really. Nothing could touch him in this world he had created for them from her memories, this dreamlike reality they lived in. And as long as she stayed with him, nothing could touch her, either.

She would always be safe here in this tenuous unreality, where a spider was the man she loved and red was the color of her heartbeat. Here, where it was always summer and the breeze brought with it the taste of sweet oranges, her favorite fruit. Here, where her memories flitted around her like tiny birds, always just out of reach.

She loved it here. She loved being safe and worry free. _She did_.

_Remember._

Her azure eyes searched out his own crimson ones, framed by obsidian waves that curled and twisted around his beautiful alabaster face like thick, black smoke. Sometimes she liked to let that smoke consume her. It was soothing.

Tonight his eyes were kind, but they always made her feel a little…

Frightened?

Why should she fear the man who was so kind to her? The man she loved?

She must be a horrible person.

_He is._

A smile lifted those soft, pale lips of his as he lowered them to kiss her forehead lovingly. Long, dark lashes fluttered down over sapphire eyes like moth wings. She loved it when he treated her like something so precious.

"Naraku, I am so happy to be here with you. Just dancing in the moonlight." She had said such things many times before. She really felt it this time, _she did_.

When he twirled her around with practiced steps, moving to the gentle cadence of the waltz, his form was silhouetted against the bright moonlight and his features were cast into darkness.

Why did she feel so disappointed to find glowing rubies instead of warm amber?

In this light, he could be someone else.

Who?

She knew no one else.

Strands of gossamer moonlight floated at the edge of her vision. When she turned her head, they were gone.

There was a vague face, that of another time and another world. Why couldn't she remember it? She grasped for it, but it slipped through her fingers like water. Sometimes, she thought she could remember, but it always left her.

What was she searching for?

His voice like cool, smooth silk drew her attention again.

"I do it to see your smile, my jewel." He had many pet names for her. This was her least favorite, and she almost flinched in the wake of it. It just felt so…

_Wrong._

At this, she did smile. A small, content smile just for him. It shined brighter than the moon above and he wanted to capture it. He wanted to hide it away from everyone else, so he would be the only one to ever see it.

And he was. He made sure of that.

No one would know her smile ever again. No one but him.

A cool summer breeze ruffled the hem of her dress and Kagome buried herself further into his warmth. Strong arms tightened around her as their swaying slowed until they were standing still, entwined so intimately under the black sky. She could hear his strong heartbeat thrumming through her from where her ear was laid against his chest.

She loved his heartbeat. _She did_.

Sometimes, she wanted to hear it stop. Just for a moment.

_Remember._

With a terrible wave of his terrible hand, a white-blossomed tree appeared and he lowered them both to sit at the base, his back resting against the trunk as he cradled her to his warm chest. The music had stopped and it was very quiet. His eyes were on her again as she closed her own and just listened to the gentle rhythm of his heart.

What color was it, she wondered.

Was it red, because he was so very passionate?

Was it pink, because he was so very kind?

Was it white, because he was so very sad?

Or was it, perhaps, black, because he was so very…

_Wicked._

She was a horrible person. Why did she feel this way? Nothing made sense. Not for as long as she could remember.

Sometimes, it was disconcerting how much she loved this man. And sometimes, she thought she might hate him. But how did she know the difference? Perhaps love and hate were the same thing. Perhaps this was normal. She had never known another, none other than her Naraku.

Not for as long as she could remember.

So how did she know what hate was or what love was?

_Doesn't matter._

It was in his eyes, sometimes. Malice. She could see it. It frightened her, but comforted her all the same. What kind of pain had he caused? He had never hurt her, but his eyes, they spoke of something violent.

"You are so good to me, Naraku." She smiled against his chest, and hugged herself tighter against his warm body. He was. She knew that.

Unseen by her, a cruel smile curved his perfect lips and he kissed her with it. It was there on her forehead, his cruelty. She was his, forever.

"You deserve no less, my Kagome."

Sometimes, he called her by her name. She liked this best. _She did._

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AN/ Take it as you will.


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